Monday, September 29, 2008

Pyramid for Parenting Problems (say that 10 times fast!)

Today, I came across a great article from the Arbinger Institute about the Parenting Pyramid. It teaches parents how to focus on the fundamental aspects of their relationships in their families first when they see troubling behavioral signs in their children. I thought it was a great constructive guide to help us direct our efforts when trying to "fix" problems in our families. Here is a diagram of the pyramid, and a quote below it from the article.


"Another important discovery for me was this: The solution to a problem in one part of the pyramid generally lies below that part of the pyramid. For example, if my correction of my children isn't working--if I've studiously tried many things and my children just aren't responding--the solution is not to try still more methods of correction. The solution is to do a better job of teaching. In the absence of more effective teaching, my attempts to discipline will always be disappointing because "discipline" is not the problem; nor are the kids the problem. A lack of teaching is the problem. Similarly, if my teaching is consistently falling flat, the answer is not to teach more. That's often the temptation, but it's a mistake. When my teaching is failing, the solution is to build better relationships. And finally, if my relationships aren't what they should be, what does that reveal about my own heart? What repenting and softening do I need to do? How could I be more meek and lowly in heart and more submissive to the Lord? So when we seem to locate a problem at one level of the pyramid, we should look below it for the solution."

Friday, September 26, 2008

Amber: "What does a kitty cat say?"

Micah: (in a melancholy voice) "Meow."

Amber: (repeats) "Meow."

Micah: "It's okay."

He thinks cats are always sad.