Nuts and Treats

We have started to feel like it is time for us to work on teaching Maxwell how to manage his own peanut allergy, so that he can feel confident as he grows older. We have been taking the time to point out the person eating peanut butter sitting near us, and the peanuts and peanut butter in the grocery store so he can be aware of what he needs to avoid.

Today, we were reading a Christmas book that along with tangerines and holly, apples and pine sprigs, pictured nuts throughout the story. I paused to show him the pictures of the different nuts and told him they weren't safe for him. He said, “I know, Mom, but how do the nuts get in all the treats?”

I am glad he is understanding and accepting all that comes with a food allergy, but I feel sad that he misses out on so much because "the nuts get in all the treats."

One of These Things is Not Like the Other Ones

Harrison has a perpetual tendency to accentuate the negative (in the cutest possible way.) For example, when the bishop at church asked him what he liked about school, he responded, "Nothing." If you asked if he had a fun birthday, he would be likely to respond, "Not really." He always has a sparkle in his eye and a sly smile that reveal his darling sense of humor is just a little on the negative side. So when Harrison came home from school and went to his backpack for his school picture, and said, "My picture is terrible," I was expecting to see the same charming, beautiful smile I had seen in his pictures from years past. I was speechless and laughing to tears when this is the picture he pulled out (ignore the flash from the camera):


When I had finally composed myself, I asked him what he was thinking when he had his picture taken. He said he was trying to have a nice smile. . . . Guess we need to work on that one.

Incidentally, notice the other two children in the pictures-- aren't they as darling as the grinchy one?? By the way, I can only get Dallin to wear a collared shirt on picture day. The kids know that picture day is my choice-- I will be sad when they are no longer amenable to that arrangement. By the way, do you know that Jeff wore the same shirt (not a similar shirt but the SAME shirt) for three years in a row on picture day in high school?? What am I in for???

Fall Memories

Cozy dinners (unfortunately, this one looked better than it tasted.)

Hay ride.

Corn maze.

Dallin designing his "math problem" pumpkin.

Haven's finished product.

Harrison and Maxwell - hard at work.

Micah mimicking his pumpkin face.

The finished display.

Halloween greetings.

The big night. Micah - doggy, Haven - Miss Universe, Dallin - pharoah, Harrison - Ash (Pokemon), Maxwell - Bat/Dragon (said, "Bat slash dragon,") Amber - Elena, Jeff - Zorro.

Incidentally, while Jeff took the kids trick or treating, some Spanish-speaking children approached him saying - "Look it's the real Zorro! It's really him!" Followed by lots of Spanish conversation. Jeff was flattered. He didn't shave that day on purpose. I, on the other hand, don't think I'll ever be mistaken for the "real Elena."

Do Ants Have Noses?

Today Max asked me if ants have noses. I think he's asked me this before, but today he insisted that I “look it up.” So I did-- ants smell with their antennae. “What about crabs?” (I looked it up.) Crabs smell with their antennules. “What about beetles?” According to Wikipedia, beetles smell with their antennae too. Over lunch he thought of some more-- “What about flies, I forgot to ask about them. Oh, and do they have eyes?”

Remember before the Internet, when parents could just say, “I don't know?”

Proposition 8 in Plain English

This YouTube video acknowledges the respect we feel for those who choose alternative lifestyles, and simply explains the important issues surrounding California Proposition 8. Help protect our schools, our families, and our society.

Proposition 8 in Plain English

Pumpkin Waffles with Buttermilk Syrup

We had these for dinner last night. My sister-in-law, Laura, will forever be one of my favorite people for sharing this recipe:). My suggestion: double the syrup. It's that good.

Served them with this (which Jeff made by the way):

And this:

Recipes below (except for the orange juice. It was Minute Maid. Original. Low pulp. With calcium.)

Pumpkin Waffles and Buttermilk Syrup Batter: 2 c. flour 2 Tbsp. baking powder 2 Tbsp. cinnamon 1 Tbsp. sugar ½ tsp. nutmeg ¼ tsp. salt Mix ingredients together, then add: 4 egg yolks (save whites) 1 c. pumpkin 1 Tbsp. vanilla 1 ½ c. milk ¾ c. melted margarine Then beat 4 egg whites until stiff peaks form and fold them into the batter. Cook in waffle iron. Buttermilk Syrup: 1/4 cup butter (NOT margarine) ½ c. buttermilk (or substitute 1 Tbsp. lemon juice + ½ c. milk) 1 c. sugar 1 tsp. light corn syrup Bring to a boil and take off heat. Add 1 tsp baking soda and 1 tsp vanilla. It will bubble up quite a bit, so make sure your pan is large enough. Stir until it settles. Serve warm over pumpkin waffles. Yummy!

Easy Breakfast Casserole

2 cups dry chicken stove top stuffing mix (from the canister)
2 cups milk
1 1/2 cups cubed ham (or use Bob Evans Sausage, cooked, drained well, and crumbled)
6 eggs, beaten
1 cup cheddar cheese, shredded

1. Preheat oven to 350F and lightly grease a 9 x 12 baking dish.
   
2. Mix all the ingredients together.
   
3. Pour into prepared baking dish.
   
4. Bake for about 45-50 minutes or until set.
   

Fine.

Today, Max and Micah were eating lunch when the phone rang. While I was the on the phone, Micah kept screaming over and over (not an uncommon occurrence and nothing to be alarmed about.) When I hung up, I went to the table and said, “Micah, what do you need?”

He said, “More quesedilla.”

“Okay,” I said in an exasperated tone (think long, drawn-out "a" sound.)

He responded, “Fine.” (think long, drawn-own "i" sound.)

Funny. That's exactly what my tone said, not “okay,” but “fine.”

Protecting Marriage

Here is a news clip from Tony Perkins-- President of the Family Research Council in Washington D.C. He talks with parents of a five year old, and parents of a seven year old in Massachusetts about the changes in public school since same-sex marriage became legal. We need to do all we can to protect our families by protecting traditional marriage.

Pyramid for Parenting Problems (say that 10 times fast!)

Today, I came across a great article from the Arbinger Institute about the Parenting Pyramid. It teaches parents how to focus on the fundamental aspects of their relationships in their families first when they see troubling behavioral signs in their children. I thought it was a great constructive guide to help us direct our efforts when trying to "fix" problems in our families. Here is a diagram of the pyramid, and a quote below it from the article.


"Another important discovery for me was this: The solution to a problem in one part of the pyramid generally lies below that part of the pyramid. For example, if my correction of my children isn't working--if I've studiously tried many things and my children just aren't responding--the solution is not to try still more methods of correction. The solution is to do a better job of teaching. In the absence of more effective teaching, my attempts to discipline will always be disappointing because "discipline" is not the problem; nor are the kids the problem. A lack of teaching is the problem. Similarly, if my teaching is consistently falling flat, the answer is not to teach more. That's often the temptation, but it's a mistake. When my teaching is failing, the solution is to build better relationships. And finally, if my relationships aren't what they should be, what does that reveal about my own heart? What repenting and softening do I need to do? How could I be more meek and lowly in heart and more submissive to the Lord? So when we seem to locate a problem at one level of the pyramid, we should look below it for the solution."

Amber: "What does a kitty cat say?"

Micah: (in a melancholy voice) "Meow."

Amber: (repeats) "Meow."

Micah: "It's okay."

He thinks cats are always sad.

In Common

What do these two people have in common?

They both love milk? No.

They both like to eat fish? No.

They both love trivia and books and are in my immediate family? Yes, but these facts digress from the topic at hand.

Not one, but BOTH of these amazing people have articles published in the September issue of the Friend magazine. I am honored to share your last name, Heidi and Dad. Or to have once shared your last name, or that we all used to share the same last name. . . you get the picture. Check out Mikey's Gift and President Grant's Example in the September issue of the Friend-- not online yet, but coming soon. Congratulations, guys.

Exerting His Independence

Micah does this.

Not infrequently.

I just can't always get to him before he decides to take his need for sleep into his own hands. Thanks for choosing nodding off over tantrums, Micah. I appreciate it more than you know.

Reaching Higher

In our struggle to help our children reach greater heights, we often encounter pretty low valleys. It is at those times that I am especially grateful for a little inspiration that gives us a greater perspective and helps us know in which ways we can improve.

Here are three encouraging reminders I found in a recent Ensign article by By Craig H. Hart, Lloyd D. Newell, and Julie H. Haupt:

1. Use kind words and gentleness during disagreements

2. Give positive reinforcement through compliments, providing earned rewards, and sharing satisfaction from service.

3. Never use coercion.

I found the discussion about coercion particularly fascinating and have quoted it below. I like the part where the father abandons his unsuccessful attempt at time out to give his son needed attention. It is a great reminder that we often have to give up our desire to be "right" to be effective parents. We have seen many positive changes in our family in the few days we have focused on these principles. I am so grateful for the support we receive as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in our roles as parents.

"A natural response to misbehavior can be to simply demand, rather than invite, obedience. Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles related the story of a man who was determined to train a colt by simply pulling on the lead rope. Each time he yanked, the colt fell down. After a few minutes, the man had successfully taught the colt to fall down. Then the man’s wife made an excellent suggestion: Walk beside the colt. 'To my friend’s chagrin,' said Elder Ballard, 'it worked.'8 Parents will have more success if they lead by example. President Boyd K. Packer, President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, suggested that parents may need to give up parental behavior that produced bad results in the past and try a better way.9

"Inappropriate attempts to force obedience, like 'yanking the rope,' create difficulty in fostering companionable relationships with young children and teens. Coercion—physical or psychological—is not appropriate. Coercive behavior includes physical and verbal abuse, threats, shouting, manipulating, withdrawing love, and shaming. While coercion may lead to momentary obedience or compliance, it rarely results in a long-term solution. President Gordon B. Hinckley reiterated that 'discipline with severity, discipline with cruelty inevitably leads not to correction but to resentment and bitterness'10 (see also D&C 121:41–44). 'Children don’t need beating,' he emphasized. 'They need love and encouragement.'11

"One young father became frustrated when 'time out' seemed to fail as a discipline strategy for his very energetic young son. Shouting and spanking seemed only to feed the misbehavior. Afraid he might lose control and harm his child, the father took his own 'time out.' He left the room and silently prayed for help. When he returned, he invited the son to build a train with blocks and then to play catch—two favorite activities. He tried to focus on the son’s increasing skills, and he offered ample praise. To the father’s surprise, the son behaved well for the rest of the evening, with only a few gentle reminders. Leading with love worked better than leading by force."

Marinated Flank Steak

We had this steak at a recent barbecue with some friends (well, not this exact steak. I don't know who ate this exact steak.) I can still taste how amazing it was! Here's the recipe. Your welcome.

Marinated Flank Steak

1/2 c. soy sauce
1/4 c. oil
1/4 c. cider vinegar
1/8 tsp minced garlic
2 tbsp brown sugar
1 tsp ginger

Poke several holes into both sides of flank steak before marinating. Marinate steak 24 hours (12 hours each side), if possible. Barbecue approximately 10 minutes per side. Slice thin and diagonally and serve. If eating with company, try to take small bites. It's not as easy as you might think.

My Baptism

On Saturday, July 5th I got baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I promised to follow Jesus Christ, always remember Him, and keep His commandments. When my dad put me under the water, I was shocked how quick it was! I felt as if there had been a burning fire inside me. My cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and one of my friends all wrote notes and congratulated me after I was dry, my hair was combed, and I was in my baptism dress. After my baptism, I got confirmed and received the Holy Ghost. Now, I have the Holy Ghost as my constant companion. I loved getting baptized!

Lazy Days of Summer

So sad they're coming to an end!

Once or Twice in a Thousand Years

"Once or Twice in a Thousand Years," by Bruce R. McConkie is the most stirring commentary on Joseph Smith's vision of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ I have ever read. His language is beautiful, and my heart pounds every time I reread his words. I know they are true-- Joseph Smith, a fourteen-year-old farm boy, saw what he said he saw in the spring of 1820. And because the heavens opened to him, we are blessed with the truth today. A portion of Elder McConkie's testimony is quoted below. The full text can be read here.

"Once or twice in a thousand years—perhaps a dozen times since mortal man became of dust a living soul—an event of such transcendent import occurs that neither heaven nor earth [is] ever thereafter the same.

"Once or twice in a score of generations the hand from heaven clasps the hand on earth in perfect fellowship, the divine drama unfolds, and the whole course of mortal events changes.

"Now and then in a quiet garden, or amid the fires and thunders of Sinai, or inside a sepulchre that cannot be sealed, or in an upper room—almost always apart from the gaze of men and seldom known by more than a handful of people—the Lord intervenes in the affairs of men and manifests His will relative to their salvation.

"One such event took place six millennia ago in a garden which was planted eastward in Eden when the man Adam and the woman Eve fell that men might be. Another such event altered the course of history when an aged prophet believed God and built an ark wherein he and seven others, out of all the inhabitants of the earth, were saved from a watery grave.

"The most transcendent of all such events occurred in a garden called Gethsemane, outside Jerusalem’s walls, when the Chief Citizen of planet Earth sweat great drops of blood from every pore as He in agony took upon Himself the sins of all men on conditions of repentance. Yet another of these events, destined to affect the life and being of every living soul, happened in the Arimathean’s tomb when the sinless spirit of the one perfect man returned from the paradise of God to inhabit again—this time in glorious immortality—the pierced and slain body that once was His.

"But the occurrence of which we desire more particularly to speak, and which ranks in importance alongside the greatest verities of revealed religion, is one that took place in a grove of trees near Palmyra, New York, on a beautiful, clear day early in the spring of 1820. Was it on the sixth of April? Perhaps—such at least is the tradition. But be that as it may, what transpired at that time was destined to affect the salvation of the billions of our Father’s children who should live on earth from that day to the great winding up scene when the Son shall deliver up the kingdom, spotless, to His Father. …"

"'My object in going to inquire of the Lord,' our young supplicant says, 'was to know which of all the sects was right, that I might know which to join. No sooner, therefore, did I get possession of myself, so as to be able to speak, than I asked the Personages who stood above me in the light, which of all the sects was right … —and which I should join.

“'I was answered that I must join none of them, for they were all wrong; and the Personage who addressed me said that all their creeds were an abomination in his sight; that those professors were all corrupt; that: "they draw near to me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me, they teach for doctrines the commandments of men, having a form of godliness, but they deny the power thereof" ' [JS—H 1:18–19].

"Once or twice in a thousand years a new door is opened through which all men must enter if they are to gain peace in this life and be inheritors of eternal life in the realms ahead.

"Once or twice in a score of generations a new era dawns: the light from the east begins to drive the darkness of the earth from the hearts of men.

"Now and then in a peaceful grove, apart from the gaze of men, heaven and earth share a moment of intimacy, and neither [is] ever thereafter the same. Such a moment occurred on that beautiful, clear morning in the spring of 1820 in a grove of trees near Palmyra, New York.

"Man asked and God answered.

"Joseph Smith saw the Father and the Son.

"These things I know, and of them I testify."

Naturescaping

The side yards at our new house are without sprinklers. Alongside the other landscape challenges that are milling around in my head is the question of what to do with these areas of our yard. In searching for ideas, I came across a new concept that intrigues me. . . naturescaping. I'm sure all of you have been familiar with naturescaping for years, but for the few of you who are unfamiliar with this practice, it (from PlantNative.org):

"Emphasizes selecting the plant that grows naturally at the site. Since native plants evolved to grow under local conditions, they do not require that the site be changed. They do not need the life support of watering (except during establishment) or regular chemical product application, and they do not require the same level of cutting and pruning maintenance."

Low maintenance? No extra watering? Just plants that thrive where I plant them? Right then I knew this was for me. Intrigued? Read on.
Apparently there are two different approaches to naturescaping. Conventional naturescaping follows "conventional landscape design principles and simply substitutes native plants for the industrial species." Restoration naturescaping "attempts to create a more natural looking space . . . creating a look that reflects how the site may have looked prior to human disturbance."

What if your backyard was farmland for a hundred years after it was anything "native?" Should I plant my native plants in neat rows for easy hoeing?

Lingering at the Library

The library has been a favorite of ours since we've moved into our new house. We have been there 5 times, (as a family) to return, peruse, and check out amazing books! We've discovered lots of new book series.

Some of Dallin's new finds are: Children Of The Lamp and Twin Towers. Some of Haven's new discoveries are: Series Of Unfortunate Events and the Andrew Clements books. Harrison has also found some really exciting, adven- turous series like Dragonfable, Horrible Harry, and Avatar.

We love to spend mornings and afternoons curled up on the hide-a-bed and munching on snacks while reading our newly-acquired library books!

Berry Picking

Berry picking, as in most things having to do with gardening, makes me think of life's lessons. We went raspberry picking yesterday-- (the picture is from an earlier strawberry-picking excursion, but was too darn cute to leave out) and this may be news to you as it was to me, but the raspberries are located under the leaves! At first glance the bushes seem to be barren of berries completely, however, upon deeper investigation we found lots of sweet, red raspberries begging to be picked! This particular phenomenon could have many lessons (having to look beyond the outward appearance for one,) but the one I felt compelled to share with my children was that if we looked down at the downward-sloping branches of the raspberry bushes, we couldn't find any berries. But if we bent down, lifted up the branches, and turned our gaze upward, there were many, many berries waiting to fill our containers and our tummies with delight.

Such is life. If we persist with a downward gaze, never looking upward, our lives may seem quite dismal indeed. But if we pause, take a little extra effort to lift the branches that obscure our view, and turn our eyes toward heaven, our plentiful blessings will become apparent, and our hearts will be filled with gratitude toward the giver of all good things. Including raspberries.